60 Day Challenge: To take or Not to take?

Lose weight now

I’m not obsessed with weight loss, but with the hovering thought of being thirty, and the vague hazy dream of fitting into bridal wear making sure to conceal all struggling bulges, plus trying to look twenty-something in the pictures; I have no choice but to flush out the 15+ kgs that fret and whine to go away. It was heart breaking having to turn down the freshly prepared shawarma from a colleague, who only was too stunned at my refusal. Soon enough the aromas of the sandwich filled the room and had my face turn into an ogling masterpiece. Thankfully, I didn’t give in.

Surely, the mindset of a person on the verge of a diet is frustrating, and if you listen to your thoughts, it could indeed depress you. Every morning I wake up positive, chalk out the entire day’s schedule of workouts, food intake and work. Come evening, and I’m a nervous wreck – finishing the last bits of work in the office, and trying NOT to listen to the loud excuses in my head. If these get the better of me, I end up simply crying, and giving up by cancelling all that I planned since the break of day, and spending the rest of the night blaming myself, and even my relationship. Am I alone? Or is this a common phenomenon for most weight losers? My metabolism rate is comparatively lower owing to the numerous hours I spend at my work desk, so I try to push in the maximum fat burning workouts for atleast two hours. At the same time, I’ve tried to keep my calorie intake low…about 700 kcals or lower. Not sure if all this is a worthwhile decision. According to various health mags, this could keep my weight loss steady over the next few months.

Yesterday my thoughts finally fought back, and I was on the verge of a break-up. It kept reminding me that I’m ugly ball of wreck, and no amounts of hard work will change that. Vengeful words were slurred. Slept. Woke up with a guilty conscience, and checked my IM to see if I missed any lines from my patient friend on the other side. Anyways, for a thought: I am fathoming the idea of taking up a challenge. 8 kgs in 60 days, starting today, and having to record the ordeal / experience in this blog. Hopefully this works…Comments, suggestions are welcome.

The Catholic Hindu Link: Day 7 – Wedding Blackmails

In the unfortunate excitement over Jaan’s elder sister’s wedding (of which I am not even a major or minor part of), I happened to give my folks some ‘feelers’ of my own wedding.

“Dad, you gotta lose all that weight, I want you looking fit for my wedding!”

“Mom, just in case we have a wedding soon, do you think our mumbai house needs some renovation?”

They got the hint; Deep down ofcourse they always knew that some day the news would pop, but I guess they still waiting for me to spell it out. Anyhow my mom and dad joined in the routine, and often joked about how and what should be done for my wedding, until yesterday when it got all ugly.  Apparently my mom put forth a demand that I should have a 10-tier wedding cake!! And she wouldn’t take NO or even WHY for an answer. In fact she felt offended when I kept pressing for a reason, and ultimately broke down and cried…..there goes another week of silent treatment. Here’s the better part: She said she wouldn’t come to the wedding if the cake isn’t there! Talk about blackmail from your own mom.

I have been so upset since last night’s conversation that I could not pray, much less sleep well, and cannot focus on work either. I think I told almost everyone at the office about the demand too. While some have been understanding (maybe its the last time my mom has the chance to ask for something), some believe I could reason with my mom at a more calmer time (actually she was real calm last night before this conversation began). Dad as usual was neutral, the only question he kept asking was “Who’s the guy”?

So why am I objecting? Afterall, every bride would love to have that bit of extravagance for their dream wedding. Firstly, I’m a non-traditional person. I believe in the simple and less complicated things in life; I shy away from extravagance and events. My mom has been the opposite. I can’t imagine the nightmare of events when all this finally comes together. Right now I’m so not in the mood to even discuss marriage. 😦