I’m not obsessed with weight loss, but with the hovering thought of being thirty, and the vague hazy dream of fitting into bridal wear making sure to conceal all struggling bulges, plus trying to look twenty-something in the pictures; I have no choice but to flush out the 15+ kgs that fret and whine to go away. It was heart breaking having to turn down the freshly prepared shawarma from a colleague, who only was too stunned at my refusal. Soon enough the aromas of the sandwich filled the room and had my face turn into an ogling masterpiece. Thankfully, I didn’t give in.
Surely, the mindset of a person on the verge of a diet is frustrating, and if you listen to your thoughts, it could indeed depress you. Every morning I wake up positive, chalk out the entire day’s schedule of workouts, food intake and work. Come evening, and I’m a nervous wreck – finishing the last bits of work in the office, and trying NOT to listen to the loud excuses in my head. If these get the better of me, I end up simply crying, and giving up by cancelling all that I planned since the break of day, and spending the rest of the night blaming myself, and even my relationship. Am I alone? Or is this a common phenomenon for most weight losers? My metabolism rate is comparatively lower owing to the numerous hours I spend at my work desk, so I try to push in the maximum fat burning workouts for atleast two hours. At the same time, I’ve tried to keep my calorie intake low…about 700 kcals or lower. Not sure if all this is a worthwhile decision. According to various health mags, this could keep my weight loss steady over the next few months.
Yesterday my thoughts finally fought back, and I was on the verge of a break-up. It kept reminding me that I’m ugly ball of wreck, and no amounts of hard work will change that. Vengeful words were slurred. Slept. Woke up with a guilty conscience, and checked my IM to see if I missed any lines from my patient friend on the other side. Anyways, for a thought: I am fathoming the idea of taking up a challenge. 8 kgs in 60 days, starting today, and having to record the ordeal / experience in this blog. Hopefully this works…Comments, suggestions are welcome.