Its been 3 days of exercise, but I didn’t notice any notable change in my weight. I admit I haven’t lost a gram despite taking care of all the details and this was quite a sadist disappointment to face in the morning. I didn’t feel any lighter either, noting that my jeans still don’t need a belt to hang on. Do I need to wait for some more time? I am running out on it actually.
I had a sit-in at home this weekend, mainly because of an argument that ensued between me and my mom in the evening (its regular, once in a while we’re bound to express some mild tantrums). When these things happen, I lose all mood to do anything outdoor – I am a born sulker. So besides watching a marathon of movies on the tube – Enemy of the State, Dhoom (Indian), Gladiator and This means War (all in parts ofcourse), I took some time to reflect on my current relationship, and if at all I was being realistic.
Looking at some of the notes I had printed a year ago from internet sources on Catholic – Hindu marriages, and its ongoing list of requirements I can’t help but think if me and jaan will ever be ready to go through it. Our kind of marriages require a special dispension from the bishop, due to ‘disparity of cult’, and my spouse is supposed to know that I will be vowing to do ‘everything in my power’ to raise my children as catholic. I don’t know if Christ was a ‘catholic’ as such, but if I stuck to just Christ’s teachings of just 2 commandments: Love of God and love of neighbor, I think I could do fairly well. Today’s catholic teachings however insist on their obligations of the sacraments, the Sunday school classes and the devotions. Jaan doesn’t have a problem about how I raise my kids, but he told me that he wouldn’t want to offend his mom in anyway, so I’m expecting that they will grow up confused. I don’t even know why I need to think all this…I would be happy if God gave me the grace to have children, the grace to teach them about God will come in its time, I believe.
The best part I’ve noted being a Catholic is that we are so unwelcoming. Non- catholics cannot receive the Holy Eucharist . Why? because they are not sanctified enough, or unaware of its sacredness, so what if they were? Why was Judas Iscariot given the privilege to receive it?
I receive mentoring from time to time from an Indian Jesuit priest, who assured me that its not a problem at all to marry a Hindu, and told me to find God in everything and every circumstance. Even if my diocese apparently had problems conducting a marriage ceremony, he said I would be most welcome in his parish in India. I can only hope that he stays available until then. Even the Pope now has been very encouraging, that Christ died for the salvation of all despite all what his interpreters and representatives have to say.
My only concern is that I hope I aint being unrealistic and foolish in where this all has to end. My best friend (who doesn’t know about my relationship) keeps sharing with me the numerous misunderstandings she and her husband has had over religious beliefs despite both being Roman Catholics, and this keeps reminding me to re-think. Ego is definitely something I will have to let go.